Voltron

IF IT'S IN THE TOMB, YOU MUST EXHUME! 

For Russians in the former Soviet Union a trip to the Movieland Wax Museum wasn't in the stars; not even in the Red Stars! In fact, that was just another one of those things 'beyond the wall' so a trip to the Lenin Mausoleum was about as good as it got. And what a trip that was; soldiers goose-stepping around the glass box and a wrinkled old lady with legs like tree trunks at the front of the line taking off peoples' hats and putting them in their hands... ahh yes this was the grand tour! We all think the Lenin in the tomb was wax because even though they say the glass is "filled with special gases" (CO2 in the case of Leninade) let's face it... Lenin never planned anything beyond five years. Clearly someone got ahold of some lacquer thinner and rubbed off the Best Before Date from that glass. And now this poor little man has lost his followers and even lies just down the street from a Baskin Robbins which doesn't even have a line outside; and here is where the Marx Brothers came to the rescue by creating a Real Soda that was red and worth standing in line for... LENINADE! Many people who once escaped from the Soviet Union, upon tasting Leninade, have overwhelmingly remarked that it is "BETTER THAN EXPECTED"; and those who prefer vodka in their potables have been known mix it with Leninade and ice to make a COMMIE KAZE. But even if you're a teetotaler you can get tired of Russky Chai and Drink As Lenin Drank!